Pain is our greatest addiction.

The Spiritual Self

Came to Be

As The One divided within itself.

Created then, were Infinite

multiplicities of the One

Still One with the One

Consciousness of Oneness Remained

Separate Self Consciousness

Came to Be

As the Separate Self

Moved deeper into the Matter of Earth

Vibration Fell into Density and Fragmentation

With Polarization into Male and Female.

The Opposites Repelled.

The Positive lost Receptivity.

The Receptive turned from the Positive.

Polarity misdirected, the Flow waned Chaotic.

Severed in Consciousness From The One,

The Way was Lost.

The Separate Self

Only has Life in Separation.

Separation is an illusion,

that the Separate Self Works to Maintain.

The Monkey Mind serves to keep away the stillness

that reveals the Light of Truth and Oneness.

In the Illusion of Separateness

from the One, Ahura Mazda,

The Separate Self believes,

and behaves,

in ways that are not harmonious

in the flow of the One.

Such disharmony causes suffering,

both for the Separate Self,

and others.

The Separate Self.

Turned Within instead of Without

Began the way of Take instead of Give

Thus was the Birth of Self-ishness

Then Came to Be

The SELFISH Separate Self

The master of Selfishness,

The Pawn of Darkness.

Selfishness –

The Root of all evil,

All ignorance,

All wrongs,

All pain and suffering.

Greed, Hate, Jealousy, Envy, Vanity and Lust,

Call thee each by thy true name –

Selfishness.

Theft, Brutality, War, and Famine –

Exist not without Selfishness.

The Selfish Separate Self

Is a creature

of our own design.

It Disdains Love

Shuns the Light

Fears the Truth

The Selfish Separate Self

Lives Against the One

It Lives a Lie

It survives only in illusion

It Lives only to serve itself, and its masters –

the darkness and

The Lords of darkness.

It relishes ignorance.

With its self-centered gaze,

It is Blind.

The Selfish Separate Self

Is Insane.

Terrified of death –

yet it often accelerates its demise.

Wants to avoid suffering,

yet it often creates it.

Wants to fulfill its every desire,

yet it often prevents their attainment.

It suffocates itself with its own blind taking,

and destroys its own source of life.

The Selfish Separate Self

Controls the Mind

and Twists the Truth

It can avoid God by Searching for God

It can avoid Love, by looking for Love

Your Selfish Separate Self

Is the most terrible Demon

You will ever See

Transcend its Grip

And you will be Free

Your Selfish Separate Self

Will frighten You

When you look it in the Eye

Greet it with True Love

And it will Die

From the ashes of its Grave

Like the Sun it will Rise

Born anew, Separate no longer

To serve your True Self

And the Will of The One.

As a servant,

Its proper place,

It Finds Peace and Happiness.

Thusly do the Great Enemies,

Become Allies,

As One.

The One

Becomes Two

The Two become Three

The Two Beget Four

and Begins the More

Within and Without

Torn Between and Against

Mirrors on All Sides

Split Inside and Out

Again and again

Thus is the Ignorant Self

To Be Whole Again

To Be home Again

Only The Weary Learn

Only The Bleeding heart Returns

To Be Whole with the One Again

Is the Great Goal.

The Great Mountain we can climb

with our Will.

For Those who Take Power over

Their Selfish Separate Self,

Will Return

And Be Wholly One.

The Wholly Ones use the Power of Love,

Sacrifice Their Selfish Separate Self,

And Make To Give.

Thusly did they Find Their Spiritual Self Again.

Thusly do they Forever Walk

With the Peace of the Whole,

And in Their Wholiness,

are a Blessing to All.

– The Children and the Lost Teaching of Atlantis

I read these teachings day after day for years and it never really hit me until recently. Sometimes we may read a thing and understand it from an intellectual standpoint but to internalize it is an entirely different state of awareness. When you understand something you can break it down to a science, even teach it to others but when you go the extra mile to internalize it, you can teach it to others without even saying a word. Why? Because you live it. As a ‘newbie’ in spirituality I often spoke a good game. Ooh sure I read tons of spiritual books, I had all this spiritual knowledge but that was just it. I had spiritual knowledge but I wasn’t actually spiritual, even though at that time I thought I was. My ego bubble finally burst when my twin flame and I had a huge blow up.

After we exchanged words I simply couldn’t understand why he went crazy on me. “I didn’t do anything to deserve this. Why would he do this to me? How could he?!” As I was riding in my car I played back everything that had just happened like it was a movie. “Okay now what did he say after that?” It was like I was trying to find his faults in the blow up, as if I was critiquing a debate tournament. Then it finally hit me, I was addicted to being upset. “How can a person be addicted to being upset?” The skeptic quickly demanded. I’m not sure if at that point it was my higher-self leading me through this internal debate but I knew it had to be from a source much higher than my own state of consciousness at that time.

It went something like this:

Look at what you’ve said thus far…nearly every sentence you’ve said has started with “me, I, or him,” failing to realize that he is an extension of you. The separate self wants to maintain its sense of identity by continuing to create the illusion of separateness. Thus, it has created this environment of dysfunction which you have attached to, accepting it as your reality. It does not have to be so; however, you have accepted it as such. You can choose to be at peace with this situation or you can continue to remain upset. It is easy to remain upset, it feels good, it pleases the ego. YES, HE needs to know how HE hurt ME. You are simply here to allow reality to flow through you like a river. When you attach to situations you can never truly be at peace because your reference point for your reality is going to always be relative to that one experience.

I was on emotional autopilot and the separate self was my gps. My realization came down on me like a ton of bricks…so much so that it made me sick. It was excruciatingly uncomfortable and now I understand why most people are selfish; it takes work to be at peace but even that is an illusion in and of itself. The separate self is an intelligent entity that has several defense mechanisms in place to avert merging into wholeness but these are simply illusions. All that was and ever will be is oneness, it is who you are at the core essence of your very being. No matter what anyone says, thinks, or does to you, you are in charge of your inner peace.

The Shadow Self

“It’s not me, it’s you.”

As I’ve said in earlier blog posts, 2014 has been the year of facing the SELF. All things that have been ignored, repressed, and swept under the rug are being revealed. Why? Well, the Earth itself is cleansing. We must also cleanse and shed the things that are no longer of service to us. This baggage prevents us from raising our vibration and if you’re not in vibrational alignment with the cosmos, you will have some issues. That was lightly put. My writings will be inspired by my Jungian centered psychological philosophy coupled with astrology.

So what exactly is the “self,” I’m still in the process of coming up with a fundamental definition of what the self is. Personally I believe that the self is comprised of various levels. Each lifetime we experience is to enable us to master these various levels of the self in order to evolve to the final level of initiation which is the attainment of Universal Consciousness. Some may call it Christ Consciousness or Enlightenment. This is the totality of consciousness, the ALL. It is what connects all living things. The frequency of this consciousness is entirely too great for an “average” human body/psyche to handle, so we must proceed in various stages throughout our incarnations.

Due to the various experiences in our everyday functions, there was a need for the ego to develop a sense of adaptability for these various functions. Quite simply, the ego had to sort of hire a personal assistant to carry the role of this adaptability. Thus, birthed the persona. The persona was birthed during our early developmental years in order to adapt to the expectations of the individuals in our lives. As a result, we embraced the traits we deemed “desirable.“ The traits in which we felt were of the latter, then begin to form part of the shadow.

This (shadow) carries all the things we do not want to know about ourselves or do not like. The shadow is a complex in the personal unconscious with its roots in the collective unconscious and is the complex most easily accessible to the conscious mind. It often possesses qualities which are opposite from those in the persona, and therefore opposite from those of which we are conscious. Here is the Jungian idea of one aspect of the personality compensating for another: where there is light, there must also be shadow. If the compensatory relationship breaks down, it can result in a shallow personality with little depth and with excessive concern for what other people think about him or her. So while it can be troublesome, and may remain largely unconscious, the shadow is an important aspect of our psyche and part of what gives depth to our personalities. The fascination which the differing, contrasting, or opposing aspects of personality hold for us, is illustrated in such novels as Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, or The Picture of Dorian Gray.

The way in which we most immediately experience the shadow is as we project it on to other people, so that we can be fairly sure that traits which we cannot stand in other people really belong to ourselves and that we are trying to disown them. While difficult and painful, it is important that we work at owning our shadow to bring it into relationship with our persona, and so provide some integration of these two complexes within our personality.

The ascendant sign of astrology can be viewed as our persona. It can be determined by obtaining a natal chart. A natal chart is basically a map of the cosmos as they were aligned when you were born. Astrologically we are much more that just our sun sign. There are various houses, planetary aspects, and placements to also factor in. All of which is outlined by your natal chart which is based on the time, date, and location you were born. These energies are in no way binding though, always remember that. The ascendant or rising sign is located on the first house cusp. It is the sign that was along the eastern horizon “rising” over the earth at the time of your birth.

In a sense the rising sign is like the first impression we give. Astrologers have noted that the rising sign is the “mask” we wear but that has a negative undertone, as if this is something purposely done. It is how the world perceives you. The sun (sign) is more closely related to you on a soul level. The essence of the rising sign tends to mostly surface when we are at work, around strangers, how we act in new situations etc. It’s said that the rising sign can also have an influence on our physical appearance, but that’s another story. These are our conscious tendencies which we project to the world.

The natal chart is composed of a wheel, each sign has a corresponding “opposite” sign. Thus, it’s shadow. The shadow is represented by the DEscendant sign, which is on the cusp of the 7th house. Thus, opposite the 1st house. I try to pay attention to what zodiac sign people are and I started noticing a trend with Cancer’s. When I say I cannot STAND Cancer men, OMG! It’s nothing personal, y’all just get on my nerves lol. Not to say that there’s something “wrong” with them per say. It’s just that everything about a Cancer man gets under my skin. Whelp, it turns out that my rising sign is Capricorn which is represented by 10th house so my descendant sign is Cancer. *rolls eyes*

The 10th house of astrology is the “career” house, and is also ruled by Saturn. So one could say that this house represents a certain level of seriousness. In the astrological community there is discord as to whether this house represents the mother or the father. Personally, I feel that this house represents the father because the masculine is looked at as the “bread winner” and the head of the household. Adversely, the 4th house (Cancer) which is opposite the 10th represents our childhood foundations. The 4th house is a cardinal water sign. So, Cancer’s explore the depths of the emotional spectrum. I tend to describe Cancer’s as “needy” and moody. That sounds harsh I know, I know. The 4th house has a motherly undertone so Cancer’s need nurturing and extra care.

These are obviously the things I don’t want to embrace about myself. Growing up, my parents weren’t very nurturing. My siblings moved out when I was really young so I didn’t have very many playmates. I dedicated my life to sports so I really didn’t have time to have fun. Sometimes it is hard for me to loosen up. I certainly don’t like to be viewed as needy or moody. Okay, that’s enough about that.

Anyway, as you can see, dealing with the shadow is not easy. You must delve deeply into the subconscious and bring things to the surface that you perhaps didn’t even know was placed there. Which was your doing of course. Because these are subconscious qualities, we tend to attract people who represent them. Each experience is for the evolution of who we are on a soul level. Not only is understanding the shadow important because it gives depth to our personality; but also because, the functions of the persona dictate our adaptability. Adaptability is absolutely imperative for success. Also, because the shadow is most often directly experienced through our projections via other people, if we continue rejecting this aspect we then fail to truly embrace that individual. We tend to think its them but its really our own projections. I know I’ve purposely avoided Cancer men but I’m merely running from my own reflection. *rolls eyes again*

Keep in mind (puns) that the shadow is not “bad” it just is. Your shadow may be someone else’s light…