My farewell to this blog and to Ra (Part 3 Cincinnati abandoned and homeless)

This was one of THE most difficult times in my life.

A Backpackers Journey to Enlightenment

It seemed like I drove non-stop back to Atlanta. I was tired of driving and I was anxious to get back to Atlanta and be closer to my family. I hadn’t spoken to anyone close to me in a few weeks by now. The closer we got to Atlanta, the worse Ra got. With what I now consider to had been his paranoia. As we were on the highway there was a truck that had been on the same stretch of highway with us for quite a while…which didn’t alarm me because Atlanta was the closest City so it would make sense that most of the cars would be headed in the same direction. To Ra this was not the case. He was convinced that this truck had been following us and were trying to write a contract on him when he gets to Atlanta. I just listened and nodded…

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Understanding your personal karma…

Karma is really simple. Understanding your karma is simple but course correcting your karma is a bit difficult, not to understand but to implement. I had someone tell me I needed a “tool” to use for helping/teaching people what I’m talking about. Even now I don’t understand why. I just look at things in a peculiar, somewhat scientific, that allows me to analyze energy. Why do I need  to access a persona akashic records or use tarot astrology etc etc? All of those tools are useful but I get a lot from a person just by asking questions about their life. It’s like we jump right into the spiritual stuff before examining the straight forward stuff first.

To me Karma is straight forward.

Our lives are a culmination of karmic consequences. So to understand karma, we must look no further than our lives. Every single thing in your life the result of karma. The circumstances surrounding your birth more so reflects the karma you created prior to this life. As a child you’re not fully vested with free will, therefore you’re essentially unable to create karma. There is really no need for deep past life exploration unless you’re just curious. If you want to get to the point, look at your life in the NOW. What type of parents did you have? What was your upbringing like. Etc. These energies were in alignment with you at birth, they speak to the energy of what you continued to carry into this life. People get really hung up on the details of why. Why did I incarnate into a family that experienced financial hardship… Let me do a past life regression to see which life this originated and how I created this etc. I don’t go into all the details I am only concerned with two things:

What is the energy?

How is the energy being upheld?

If something is showing up in your life presently, you are continuing to uphold the karma in some way shape or form. This is why I think past life exploration can be counterproductive because a lot of those lives hold no value now. If it’s not benefiting or hurting you, why concern yourself with it?

Using the financial hardship example:

What is the energy: Hardship

Clearly this is a karmic pattern that has followed you into this life being that you were born with it. So when trying to find it’s origin, it would exist in a past life (if you chose to look for it).

How are you upholding it:

This would be unique according to the person. Perhaps your current job equates to hardship for you, by continuing to go to that job you are upholding the energy of hardship. It’s like a karmic agreement. The universe sees you as continuing to engage with the energy so therefore you attract more of it.

Now that you know what the karma is, you can shift the karma to an energy of your choosing.

Shifting karmic patterns:

Rather than going to your job that equates to hardship, try and find a new job that brings you joy and fulfillment. OR if you are unable to leave that job, start doing small things within your job that brings about joy and fulfillment.

It seems easy but a lot of us have been engaged in “negative” karmic patterns for so long it would be particularly difficult to shift. It’s like losing weight, you’ve engaged in “negative” karma for so long that this energy has materialized (weight) so now, getting the weight off (shifting that pattern) is also going to take time. There will need to be a dietary change + workout plan. You have to deal with your own inner resistance (cravings) etc. The knowing is the easy part, it’s the doing that gets us every time.

Karma is easy, don’t let anyone sell you into believing you need some full out program to understand it or change yours.

Always with love, even the ass whoopings…still love nonetheless…

Leann

My farewell to this blog and to Ra (Part 2 El Paso)

A Backpackers Journey to Enlightenment

If you all subscribe to Ra’s YouTube then you know a bit about what he ascribes to…as one of his loyal “followers” I thought I knew what his philosophy/foundation entailed. In short it was an interesting mixture of a few things:
Moorish Science
Sovereign movement
Extraterrestrials
Astrology
Government conspiracies

He sort of compiles all these ideas together into one major conspiracy against him and doesn’t differentiate anything.

For you to understand my experience with him you have to understand him from what I observed. He was a very secretive person and to ask him a question was like committing suicide. How do you begin to understand a person who’s mental thought process seems illogical yet they spazz on you for asking questions. It was a catch 22 situation. If I asked questions I would be looked at like I was an “agent” or working against him…how do you tell an…

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My farewell to this blog and to Ra (the back story)

A Backpackers Journey to Enlightenment

ra

So, as you can see, my relationship to Ra started from my being a client…all the way back in 2012. My first reading was a natal chart consultation and it was interesting because he accidentally put in the wrong birth time for me so we had to do the consultation again. So I sort of felt like it was fate that drew us back together. Our conversation was like we had always known each other, a certain kindred energy to it.

I was friends with him on facebook and over the next couple years we grew closer. I think what the defining moment or period was when I took his lightworker course. We had weekly meetings so we talked more frequently. Classes ended with a “maybe I should hit you up some time to see how your doing…” and things blossomed from there.

As we got closer, the weirdness started…

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STOP WASTING MONEY ON NEW AGE BULLSHIT!

This is one of those me getting in your shit posts…not for the faint of heart.

This strikes a cord with me because it is something I take very personal due to my own experience.

I was talking to one of my dear friends about life and she was expressing to me her financial woes. I know that shes connected with a lot of well-known people in the spiritual entrepreneurial community and she had just did a presentation at an event. In my mind I was thinking why in the world is she still struggling when she has all this pull? She expressed to me that she wasn’t actually getting paid. What she got for doing the event was discounted admission. I’m sorry, what the fuck?! You mean to tell me your “spiritual teacher” whom you’ve given your last dime to, who also preaches “money manifesting,” can’t properly compensate you!? I was shocked and hurt. I spoke to her again a few weeks later and she told me about this exciting new program she wanted to take. I told her straight up, taking a new class/certification is the LAST thing you need right now. You are BROKE, you need to be focused on getting your foundation in order.

Here are some of my issues:

  • Spiritual entrepreneurs aren’t held to any standard.

There is no governing body that holds a flame to these peoples asses, they can pull anything out of their ass with no fear of repercussion. ANYONE can become certified in ANYTHING these days, but that doesn’t mean a person SHOULD. There is no higher authority (in most cases) that is gut checking these fools to ensure a certain standard is being upheld.

  • Spiritual entrepreneurs are “bottom feeders.”

Broke people DO NOT need to be investing in anything other than securing food, clothing and shelter but you have these bottom feeders who will take a persons last buck just to make a dollar. One of the best things a teacher told me was that I couldn’t afford her. She was right I couldn’t. But guess what…a year later I could. If a person is willing to take your very last, you need to question their motives behind offering the service. More often than not, they’re in the same situation as you.

  • Spiritual entrepreneurs can hide behind internet facade.

I’ve known my fair share of spiritual entrepreneurs on a personal level and I can honestly call bullshit on a lot of their marketing because I have seen their lives and I know how they’re living. People get so caught up into these buzzwords like “manifesting” and forget to check these fools. If someone is selling you “money up-leveling” you better be asking for THEIR financial statements. It’s easy to manipulate people online, especially if you have a large following because a lot of people are in horrible situations and desperately want change.

  • Spiritual entrepreneurs can sell you spiritual fluff.

Fluff is what I consider information that holds no real value. We get hyped up over the new-ness of the item/program and when the euphoria wares off you realize that nothing really changed and that you wasted your money. How many resources do you have that’s collecting dust? I’m pretty sure you have your fare share. There are also a TON of redundant spiritual resources and services that quite honestly hold no practical value. We have to keep in mind that we live in a material realm all the spiritual fluff is nice but when your physical circumstances are lacking, you need to be investing in spiritual resources that are going to also help better your situation. I have wasted hundreds of dollars on spiritual bullshit and I’ve invested hundreds of dollars on spiritual resources that has been priceless- info that I can actually show results from.

We have to be extremely discerning when it comes to how we spend our money, especially when we are broke.

 

My farewell to this blog and to Ra (part one)

My “twin flame” and I started a blog that I managed during one part of our journey. After a serious of hurtful events I stopped blogging about it/us. Years later I am finally ready to come forward about my experiences in hopes to achieving peace. I invite you all to being part of my healing process.

Thank you, Leann

A Backpackers Journey to Enlightenment

I have decided to make series of blog posts to tie up loose ends and heal (this blog). I think people deserve closure and this is my way of obtaining mine.

Ra and I had a whirlwind adventure, one that is definitely for the books. Not too many people get that opportunity. We had big hopes and dreams of really helping those in the spiritual community. Idea after idea, we often fantasized about how we could turn our dreams into a reality and just live like spiritual nomads enjoying the peaceful path. Well, things shortly turned out to be not so peaceful after all and everything I had hoped became a distant memory…

This blog post will be biased and one sided because it is coming from my perspective of things. I will try my best to keep things as objective as possible. The last thing I want is for…

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Are you manifesting temporary vibrations?

I am doing a new series on manifesting. I will be speaking primarily on money and its relationship to spirituality. These are my two favorite loves and I’m always talking about these subjects so I figured it’s time I start blogging about them.

If I had a dollar for every time I saw/heard someone trying to manifest some quick money, I’d be rich. When I say trying to manifest this looks like:

  • Praying for money.
  • Doing a money ritual.

There are even some spiritual entrepreneurs who sell money rituals. When I first began my spiritual journey I was BEYOND broke…also unemployed and living at home with my parents. But with all my new found manifesting knowledge I figured I’d just magically attract the money I needed. And so I started doing everything I could to manifest money from the resources I had available to me. I did a money ritual where I burned a dollar, which thinking about that now was silly because if I needed money why would I be destroying it lol…anyway I also created vision boards and did mantras surrounding wealth and abundance.

OOOOOOOOOOoooooohhhhhhm MOOOOOOOONEEEEEEEEEEEY

…I crack myself up sometimes.

So anyway, this was around the time I graduated from college. Next thing I know I started getting money unexpectedly. Unbeknownst to me, the word about me graduating had spread throughout my family and celebratory cards and money was flowing left and right! I thought to myself YES! This spiritual stuff actually works! Soon after the excitement wore off or I had gotten all the money I was going to get from family and friends…I was still broke, still unemployed and still living at home with my parents. All the money I had was used on more useless spiritual stuff.

Two things I realized (years after) about manifesting from that experience. First: You don’t manifest money. Money is not created by you. It is exchanged by people, so the way we obtain money is through people for the exchange of value. How many times have you said ooh I want $10 and POOF a $10 bill appeared out of thin air? Never, right? So no, you don’t magically create money therefore you can’t necessarily manifest money but you CAN manifest the opportunity to obtain money. This is important because if you’re trying to manifest money and you have no opportunity/avenue through which money can come then money is not going to show up. I was broke and unemployed but I had just graduated. People view that as something major…or more importantly people view it as VALUE. Other than just sitting at home doing nothing is not going to open up the manifestation doors..and it didn’t once all the congrats were done.

Secondly we have to be extremely careful with our manifesting intentions. I don’t remember specifically what my manifesting intentions were but it had to have been something very vague. Maybe something like “I want to manifest $500.” The problem I see with intentions like these or “Lord just let me get these bills paid” is that they are very short/concise manifesting goals. These goals mask the real underlying issue as to why you’re trying to manifest money in the first place and that is the vibration of lack. If you’re trying to manifest because you’re short on funds you need to pay x item…you are trying to manifest from a place of lack. And lack begets lack. In order to manifest the things we want we must be in vibrational alignment with them. So you may very well shake up your vibration enough to get that bill paid BUT it is a temporary vibration because your intentions are temporary. After you manifest that little bit of money, you’re going to go right back to the same circumstances you were in before you started manifesting.

With my situation described above, yeah I got some money but my circumstances didn’t really change. I was still very much in lack. It’s really cool and exciting to think oh I can manifest $$ but it can really be counterproductive if you’re not conscious of what you’re asking for. We really have to stop with the “quick fix,” un-grounded spiritual solutions. If you’re in situation where you’re really struggling financially, chances are you’ve been engaged in lack for quite a long time. It took time to create the problem, its going to take quite a bit off effort and getting uncomfortable to change the outcome of what you’ve created.

…And for goodness sake, if you’re broke, the LAST thing you need to be doing is wasting money on spiritual services that serve no practical use.

Be better than me okay? Thank you.

Leann

Before you go looking for the “one,” have you done YOUR work?

I think everyone on this planet has that special one. Whether it’s a soul mate or twin flame…everyone has a concept of their ideal romantic relationship. We fantasize about it. As little girls we were constantly fed Prince Charming themes and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still somewhat hold on to those romantic concepts. It’s deeply pleasing to believe that there is SOMEONE out there tailor-made for us. That there is a special someone that is awaiting us or is looking for us so that we can live happily ever after. One thing I was never taught or told is that we have work to do before that day gets here. 
You see, we sit around daydreaming about our someone when we haven’t even cultivated the skills necessary to develop and maintain a healthy relationship. Everyone on this planet has baggage (and that’s perfectly okay). We all have something we’re working through or need to work through. If you neglect this work prior to jumping into another relationship, chances are you’re going to carry that baggage right into your next relationship…and end up attracting the same mess. It’s a cycle. Regardless of if you’ve found Mr. Or Mrs Right, can you keep them is the question? “Falling in love is easy, staying in love requires work.”

Have you gone through a rough break up? If yes, have you healed from that break up? If no then the LAST thing you need is Mr/Mrs Right because they will AMPLIFY your issues. As highly conscious people, what we ignore GROWS. I see people all the time sharing memes about love and obsessing over #relationshipgoals. Why not #selflovegoals? Like are YOU whole? That should come before any relationship aspiration. A relationship is not going to fix your wounds. In fact it will undoubtedly exacerbate them.

Relationships require work. I don’t care how “spiritually connected” you are, effort is always necessary. I would say a relationship requires more self work than anything else. How can you relate to someone else if you don’t even know how to relate to yourself? 

Back to the “mirror” concept. Your relationship partner is not your mirror however, your karmic consequences may be experienced through the relationship. Let me explain…

You are not responsible for another persons actions. They are 100% at choice for what they choose to do. This piece is THEIR karma. Where their karma ends is where/when you begin to perceive this energy. You perceive the energy then proceed to react or respond. That’s all you. Now, say for instance the energy you perceive from your partner is resentment. Then resentment is a karmic consequence you are experiencing from you creating the energy of resentment somewhere else in life. Do you see the boundary there? I may do a post solely on karma. 

Anyway so back to the self work…say you are creating the energy of insecurity, you may very well (probably) attract situations through your partner that reflects your insecurity. Our relationship partners are who we engage with everyday so if there is an avenue for our karma to be reflected back to us, relationships are a biggie. Relationships, finances and health are the main areas we experience our karma most directly, in my opinion. Why else do you think people complain about these things so much? Relationships are difficult primarily because we haven’t mastered the self. You master your external reality by first mastering your internal reality. 

You got this shit!

-Leann 

YOU are responsible for your happiness…

The ONLY person on this planet responsible for how you feel is YOU. I know that is a hard pill to swallow sometimes but just hear me out…you’ll be glad you did.

*beware…some cussin’ involved below*

Trust me I get it, there have been several times in my life where all the namaste and peace was thrown by the wayside and I was replaced by a few “fuck yous” and couple “I will beat your ass don’t get this spiritual shit twisted.” Like literally all spiritual training temporarily vanished! People will push you over the edge…if you let them. Here’s one thing that I eventually had to learn, no one is doing anything TO anyone. Everything a person does is because of themselves.

On the surface it certainly sounds like the old, spiritual fluff people are constantly reciting on social media but it really is life changing when you embody it for what it means. The way a person reacts or responds has absolutely nothing to do with the actual situation, or if you are the situation…it has nothing to do with you.

The other day I’m at work right… in a good mood, greeting everyone in passing “Hey, how are you?” I come up to this curmudgeon and give him the warm hello and he doesn’t even crack a smile, no nod, nothing. He just kept right on walking with the most stale face I’ve ever seen. At first I started to get irritated, like dude, seriously? I didn’t piss in your cornflakes this morning you could’ve smiled, something! Then it hit me. He was probably having a shitty day and now his mood is all jacked up to the point where he could’t snap out of that funk. His response to me was influenced by how he was already feeling. Most people aren’t really conscious of themselves so he was probably on emotional autopilot as I like to call it…which had nothing to do with me. When I greeted him though, he had a choice. He could’ve chose to shake off how he felt, even for just a moment to smile or wave. Or he could’ve just stayed in the negativity, which he did.

Here is where the importance of knowing that no one is doing anything to you comes into play…

So, let’s say I took what he said personal and clapped back with some attitude. Then my day would’ve been ruined because I allowed his mood to infect my golden sphere of joy (I made that up). I would have literally taken on his energy…you know energy should be treated like germs (side note). Seriously. It is so easy to “catch” another persons energy, then it infects you like a sickness.

Now of course that was a small example but when it comes to bigger confrontations/disagreements it will do you so much good by not taking on another person shit. I have been in a number of situation recently where some things happened in my life to the point where I was blaming the other person for hurting me. “You hurt me so bad…you did xyz…how could you blah blah blah…” I mean I’ve had some bombshells dropped on me and I went straight into emotional autopilot of victimization.

But spirit always comes through to hit me over the head with some realness and was like guess what Leann…

You CANNOT be a creator AND a victim.

FUUUUUUUCK! If you haven’t realized by now, I learn things the hard way. Please please don’t be like me. Learn from my mistakes and save yourself the heartache and pain. Okay?

What exactly does that mean? Well, if someone is able to do something TO you that means they have power to create in YOUR life. If a person is able to dictate your mood, they have power over you to a large degree. When you embrace the fact that you are the powerful creator of your experience, there is no blame and victimization (you are the problem and the solution). I had to stop telling myself that I was so wronged for what this person did to me because I was giving them power by continuing to allow it to effect me. At that point it didn’t even matter whether that person was long gone out of my life I would still be taking on that poison. Have you found yourself endlessly obsessing over something someone did that hurt you? The situation was probably long over with but you still held onto it right? We see how a persons actions really have nothing to do with how we feel being that the actual event happened long ago. We are CHOOSING to continue holding onto it.

If you’re in this situation, do yourself a HUGE service and reflect for a moment on whatever it is that hurt you, whoever pissed you off and let that shit go. It was never yours to take on. You’ve felt it, the denseness. Release that weight from your life. Whatever that person did had NOTHING to do with you. Nothing. They will probably tell you otherwise and that’s fine. But YOU know that we are at CHOICE over our experience. I will guarantee you that whatever the situation is, you’re the one crying about it not the person who did it. You’re the one staying up at night thinking about it, not the person that did it. You are CHOOSING pain…but know that you can also CHOOSE healing. It is available to you always.

Love

Leann

*I’ll be back for edits, not enough time to proof read. Had to get it out quick lol.*

 

Your relationship partner is NOT your mirror.

So by now you’ve probably heard the phrase “your relationship partner is your mirror.” My issue with that is major because I’ve witnessed people go deep into trying to figure out why they’ve attracted this mirror and what it is reflecting within them.

Don’t get me wrong, YES there is a vibrational likeness between yourself and your partner (otherwise you wouldn’t have attracted each other) however, they are not you and you are not them.

Imagine the worst relationship you’ve ever been in. I mean the absolute worst total jackass you’ve been with. According to this “mirror partner” concept, this must mean that you yourself must also be a jackass or that this person parallels some childhood scarring from another jackass and you are now subconsciously attracting jackasses. So then us spiritual folk go off on this spiritual quest to find this jackass energy that we seem to keep attracting. I mean REALLY digging deep to find what the root cause is. “How am I a jackass in my daily life…perhaps I am a jackass to my parents or my children…etc.” (I’m being silly to prove a point) And as if that isn’t enough, then said person begins to process why they’ve attracted this jackass and usually they think it’s centered behind some “lesson” we think we needed to learn. I’ve seen people dig so much to the point to where they actually start looking for things that aren’t there and really beat themselves up about it to eradicate whatever it is. Oh and don’t even get me started on the past life stuff.

I think this is all extremely disempowering. With all this spiritual oneness there has also been this blurring of karmic boundaries also. “Everything is my reflection so this person must be me.” We exist in a very dense, very separate third dimensional existence. These concepts of oneness are high level spiritual realm type stuff.  We came here to experience the illusion of separateness. Therefore, we came here to experience individuality. To say that someone else is you or something someone else does is because of you negates them and yourself as the creators of your own experiences. Anything anyone else does of because of THEM. HOWEVER, you ARE responsible for the energy you attract into your life.

Using the above example again…you may have attracted a person who is a jackass but overall, what energy showed up for you from that relationship? Perhaps the overall energy was irritation. So there must be a vibrational match to irritation in something you are doing in your daily life. Maybe going to the job you hate everyday “energetically” is irritating. THAT is your mirror. Not the person. Everything you do is generating karma and we tend to ignore or forget the monotonous things we do. Karma is not always LOUD or OBVIOUS.

We’ve really gone overboard with all this spiritual stuff and made it more complicated than it needs to be. You are the creator of your experience and if you’re attracting something less than desirable, you’re doing that energy somewhere in your life. Chances are, in a way you’d least expect.

Oh, and no one is here to teach you a lesson. Okay. Please hear me on that.

Love,

Leann