The ONLY person on this planet responsible for how you feel is YOU. I know that is a hard pill to swallow sometimes but just hear me out…you’ll be glad you did.
*beware…some cussin’ involved below*
Trust me I get it, there have been several times in my life where all the namaste and peace was thrown by the wayside and I was replaced by a few “fuck yous” and couple “I will beat your ass don’t get this spiritual shit twisted.” Like literally all spiritual training temporarily vanished! People will push you over the edge…if you let them. Here’s one thing that I eventually had to learn, no one is doing anything TO anyone. Everything a person does is because of themselves.
On the surface it certainly sounds like the old, spiritual fluff people are constantly reciting on social media but it really is life changing when you embody it for what it means. The way a person reacts or responds has absolutely nothing to do with the actual situation, or if you are the situation…it has nothing to do with you.
The other day I’m at work right… in a good mood, greeting everyone in passing “Hey, how are you?” I come up to this curmudgeon and give him the warm hello and he doesn’t even crack a smile, no nod, nothing. He just kept right on walking with the most stale face I’ve ever seen. At first I started to get irritated, like dude, seriously? I didn’t piss in your cornflakes this morning you could’ve smiled, something! Then it hit me. He was probably having a shitty day and now his mood is all jacked up to the point where he could’t snap out of that funk. His response to me was influenced by how he was already feeling. Most people aren’t really conscious of themselves so he was probably on emotional autopilot as I like to call it…which had nothing to do with me. When I greeted him though, he had a choice. He could’ve chose to shake off how he felt, even for just a moment to smile or wave. Or he could’ve just stayed in the negativity, which he did.
Here is where the importance of knowing that no one is doing anything to you comes into play…
So, let’s say I took what he said personal and clapped back with some attitude. Then my day would’ve been ruined because I allowed his mood to infect my golden sphere of joy (I made that up). I would have literally taken on his energy…you know energy should be treated like germs (side note). Seriously. It is so easy to “catch” another persons energy, then it infects you like a sickness.
Now of course that was a small example but when it comes to bigger confrontations/disagreements it will do you so much good by not taking on another person shit. I have been in a number of situation recently where some things happened in my life to the point where I was blaming the other person for hurting me. “You hurt me so bad…you did xyz…how could you blah blah blah…” I mean I’ve had some bombshells dropped on me and I went straight into emotional autopilot of victimization.
But spirit always comes through to hit me over the head with some realness and was like guess what Leann…
You CANNOT be a creator AND a victim.
FUUUUUUUCK! If you haven’t realized by now, I learn things the hard way. Please please don’t be like me. Learn from my mistakes and save yourself the heartache and pain. Okay?
What exactly does that mean? Well, if someone is able to do something TO you that means they have power to create in YOUR life. If a person is able to dictate your mood, they have power over you to a large degree. When you embrace the fact that you are the powerful creator of your experience, there is no blame and victimization (you are the problem and the solution). I had to stop telling myself that I was so wronged for what this person did to me because I was giving them power by continuing to allow it to effect me. At that point it didn’t even matter whether that person was long gone out of my life I would still be taking on that poison. Have you found yourself endlessly obsessing over something someone did that hurt you? The situation was probably long over with but you still held onto it right? We see how a persons actions really have nothing to do with how we feel being that the actual event happened long ago. We are CHOOSING to continue holding onto it.
If you’re in this situation, do yourself a HUGE service and reflect for a moment on whatever it is that hurt you, whoever pissed you off and let that shit go. It was never yours to take on. You’ve felt it, the denseness. Release that weight from your life. Whatever that person did had NOTHING to do with you. Nothing. They will probably tell you otherwise and that’s fine. But YOU know that we are at CHOICE over our experience. I will guarantee you that whatever the situation is, you’re the one crying about it not the person who did it. You’re the one staying up at night thinking about it, not the person that did it. You are CHOOSING pain…but know that you can also CHOOSE healing. It is available to you always.
*I’ll be back for edits, not enough time to proof read. Had to get it out quick lol.*