Before you go looking for the “one,” have you done YOUR work?

I think everyone on this planet has that special one. Whether it’s a soul mate or twin flame…everyone has a concept of their ideal romantic relationship. We fantasize about it. As little girls we were constantly fed Prince Charming themes and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still somewhat hold on to those romantic concepts. It’s deeply pleasing to believe that there is SOMEONE out there tailor-made for us. That there is a special someone that is awaiting us or is looking for us so that we can live happily ever after. One thing I was never taught or told is that we have work to do before that day gets here. 
You see, we sit around daydreaming about our someone when we haven’t even cultivated the skills necessary to develop and maintain a healthy relationship. Everyone on this planet has baggage (and that’s perfectly okay). We all have something we’re working through or need to work through. If you neglect this work prior to jumping into another relationship, chances are you’re going to carry that baggage right into your next relationship…and end up attracting the same mess. It’s a cycle. Regardless of if you’ve found Mr. Or Mrs Right, can you keep them is the question? “Falling in love is easy, staying in love requires work.”

Have you gone through a rough break up? If yes, have you healed from that break up? If no then the LAST thing you need is Mr/Mrs Right because they will AMPLIFY your issues. As highly conscious people, what we ignore GROWS. I see people all the time sharing memes about love and obsessing over #relationshipgoals. Why not #selflovegoals? Like are YOU whole? That should come before any relationship aspiration. A relationship is not going to fix your wounds. In fact it will undoubtedly exacerbate them.

Relationships require work. I don’t care how “spiritually connected” you are, effort is always necessary. I would say a relationship requires more self work than anything else. How can you relate to someone else if you don’t even know how to relate to yourself? 

Back to the “mirror” concept. Your relationship partner is not your mirror however, your karmic consequences may be experienced through the relationship. Let me explain…

You are not responsible for another persons actions. They are 100% at choice for what they choose to do. This piece is THEIR karma. Where their karma ends is where/when you begin to perceive this energy. You perceive the energy then proceed to react or respond. That’s all you. Now, say for instance the energy you perceive from your partner is resentment. Then resentment is a karmic consequence you are experiencing from you creating the energy of resentment somewhere else in life. Do you see the boundary there? I may do a post solely on karma. 

Anyway so back to the self work…say you are creating the energy of insecurity, you may very well (probably) attract situations through your partner that reflects your insecurity. Our relationship partners are who we engage with everyday so if there is an avenue for our karma to be reflected back to us, relationships are a biggie. Relationships, finances and health are the main areas we experience our karma most directly, in my opinion. Why else do you think people complain about these things so much? Relationships are difficult primarily because we haven’t mastered the self. You master your external reality by first mastering your internal reality. 

You got this shit!

-Leann 

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