Why I no longer ascribe to the twin flame concept.

The twin flame phenomena has gotten a lot of buzz in the spiritual community, rightfully so. It caters to our romanticized idea that there is ONE person out there who is DESTINED to be with us. This is highly programmed within our society and we are subjected to it at a young age, especially as women.

I think I wrote a post about how the twin flame concept is disempowering but I’m not entirely sure and I’m too lazy to check. My apologies if this post sounds a bit redundant.

1. The idea that someone is the other HALF of your soul:

This implies that you as you are now are only HALF of a being, you are incomplete until you meet that special one.

2. Twin flames are here for a special mission:

This is hugely egoic…first off no one needs saving, you are not some almighty chosen one tasked with being humanities savior. Who are you to tell anyone else that they need your salvation? What makes you so special? Everyone on this planet is experiencing the consequences of their own actions as the powerful creators of their experience, just like you are. To “save” anyone would simply be saving them from themselves.

3. The twin flame union is the ultimate relationship experience.

Believing in this notion will instantly negate all of your other relationship experiences and you will never be able to experience being completely open to experiencing anyone else. There is no IT experience in anything in life because we are always changing. Our desires change. Someone or something may be in perfect alignment with you at one point then totally out of alignment in the next.

This belief will drive you to endlessly search for a twin flame and uphold each relationship partner to the “twin flame” standard. It will essentially be like all of your marbles being placed in one basket, that basket being a twin flame. Once you don’t find one or find someone who you thought was one it can be supremely disempowering. 

Believing someone is DESTINED for you negates their free will, we’ve stumbled into trying to create results in someone else’s reality. This is teetering the lines of manipulation.

4. Twin flames agreed to incarnate together prior to this incarnation in order to fulfill a specific mission. 

This is a CONTRACT. In most cases it is TOXIC. You may have very well chosen to incarnate with someone but that in no way shape or form ensures that person will be the person you expect them to be IN THIS LIFE. In the event that your contract was made in the highest good of both souls initially, who that person becomes in this life may be a different story and at that point it becomes toxic. Until that contract is resolved you will continue attracting that person.

You are at CHOICE over your entire experience. If you desire to experience a “twin flame” connection that will be your experience. For myself personally, I believe the idea of a twin flame does more harm than good. Should that deter anyone else from seeking one, no. My intention for this post is to highlight the ways in which the connection can be toxic. A lot of “new age” information is actually disempowering in the sense that it doesn’t uphold us as the powerful creators of our experience. 

If you still believe in twin flames and feel this is part of your path by all means experience it. BUT know WHAT you’re asking for before you go out trying to find it.

Letting go of the idea of a twin flame has been surprisingly and profoundly liberating. I no longer feel the pressure to find that “special” one because as the powerful creator of my experience, I can create that whenever I want! There is no longer this void the constantly sat at the pit of my stomach, it is filled with the experience of divine love. No one GIVES us love, that would imply that some us have more than others, life isn’t unfair like that. We all have the same access to love whenever we choose to experience it. I held deeply that I could only experience divine love from my twin flame because our love transcended “space and time.” Now I know that I don’t “need” anyone to experience that, I’ve always had it.

A twin flame is much like any other relationship, once the initial romance dies down THEN you begin to see who that person really is. It’s easy to say “oh my gosh we are so in love and connected spiritually this person is my twin we’re aligned Astrologically blah blah blah”…have you actually LIVED with that person longer than 6 months? It’s easy to get caught up in the spiritual glitter of the relationship when you’ve never met in person nor lived together. 

A twin flame or soul mate whatever you choose to call it, at the end of the day they are still a human being. 


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