I don’t love you unconditionally.

No, I don’t love you unconditionally.


My partner and I had just gotten into a big blow up and he said to me:

“You don’t even like my dark side, how can you say you love everything about me?”

He had a valid point. Although I said I love everything about him, I actually don’t. I don’t love his dark side and I was feeling bad for not loving it. As a spiritual being I felt like I was just supposed to love him regardless. I had a conversation with my dear friend about the situation and she pretty much told me that it is not okay for him to act in such a way. It hurt hearing that but I knew it was true. I tried my best to maintain my spiritual stance in emphasizing that he is a reflection of me and somehow I attracted the situation. Now, I’m beginning to redefine things in my life and I feel that we aren’t the sole creators of our realties. Therefore, I don’t have to accept everything everyone else has done as being part of something I’ve done or haven’t done. We are co-creators and holding on to the notion that everything is essentially my creation totally contradicts the concept of free will. I am not responsible for the actions of anyone else. My partners actions are his own decision to behave in such way. Is that to say I didn’t do anything at all to contribute to attracting that energy? No. However, I did not have anything to do with how he chose to facilitate it.

Most of us in the western world say we love our partners unconditionally. I’ve even said it myself before but I never took the time to really analyze what it meant. Loving someone unconditionally pleases the ego but in essence you’re really saying you’re going to love that person regardless of whatever it is they do to you…even if it means whatever it is can be harmful to your well being. There are no conditions to you loving that person so you’ve opened yourself up to a whole world of pain in the name of love. You’ve vowed that you’re going to love them regardless, so the ego feels that it can do whatever because you stated it didn’t matter.

I do not love my partners dark side thus putting conditions on my love. I do not embrace anything that is not in harmony with divine love. Of course that doesn’t make his ego feel good. His ego doesn’t want to be held accountable for it’s actions. It wants to say “okay I flipped out but you love me regardless,” which further enables those actions. Divine love doesn’t cater to the ego, it exposes it, turning it upon itself. His dark side is simply a reflection of his own separateness lashing out because it hasn’t gotten it’s way. In order to embrace divinity, we have to be sovereign spiritual beings; which requires that we become a self governing system in control of our own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Divine love causes us to transcend our lower self, the separate self and merge it in harmony with our soul.

Placing conditions on your love adds value to who you are as an individual because it dictates what you will accept.


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