As spirit beings we are always growing and evolving. Right now you may be on one phase of your journey, several months from now you may be somewhere completely different. Sometimes we get into relationships and get swept up into our whirlwind romance that we forget to honor our own paths as individuals. Although we are in relationships, we must continue to maintain our own sense of autonomy. Simply put, we get attached and that’s natural. You never want to leave your lovers side especially if you have serious ties (kids, home, marriage). At some point on your journey you may have to. That doesn’t mean that you don’t love them, it simply means you’re evolving. It’s easy to take it personal when we see that our lovers are going in one direction and we no longer ‘fit’ into their plan. That’s perfectly normal to feel that way, most human beings are selfish. We say well “no, we don’t want our lovers to go on without us. How can I live without them?” You don’t need anyone but yourself.
Ouch. I know.
I’ve witnessed countless people get married and settling down having never truly developed their sense of self. When they finally realize they never truly lived (mid-life crisis) it completely shifts their entire reality. During their marriages they’ve felt those urges to go and find their true self, they’ve seen visions of it but they feel that they can’t because of the marriage. These individuals continue living their lives doing things they truly don’t want to do, sacrificing things they wouldn’t want to otherwise. If you’re compromising your soul’s needs, are you truly being authentic? You’re never going to be happy this way.
I recently found myself at a crossroads with my love bug. Inside I know his spirit is pushing him further than where we are currently, a hard pill to swallow of course. I love him dearly and I never want to leave his side but I know that I have to. Instantly I wanted to find a way to accommodate his plans, “maybe I can do this or that.” In the end I realized that by doing I would not only be hindering him, but myself as well. It’s going to be hard being away from him, but that’s simply my own attachment to the illusion of separateness, time, and space. He and I will never be apart.
Developing who we are as sovereign beings is necessary for a fully functional relationship. If one or both parties aren’t, there will never truly be balance. One or the other is always going to be dependent upon the other and neither is going to be completely fulfilled. Once both partners are functioning at their maximum capacity, there are no boundaries to their creative abilities.
Love ain’t always sweet, it hurts sometimes but the pain we feel is nothing more that our resistance to what is. If a person truly loves you, they’ll allow you the creative space to continuing finding who you are. A person who is infatuated with you will want to keep you all to themselves, its pleasing to the ego. The separate self doesn’t want to merge into oneness with your entire being. When you allow them the time and space they need, it opens them up to an entirely new world of endless possibilities. Letting them go will bring you closer together than ever before.
The universe is a paradox.